The past week had been difficult for me. I get teary each time I think about KR going for this surgery. Also known as the ‘Pull Through’, the surgeon would need to slit KR’s back, detach the rectum from the muscles (internally) and pull it down to connect with the newly created anus. I prayed for a miracle. I asked the Lord, the one who can do it all; the God of the impossibles, to heal him. But over the week as I prayed, I knew in my heart, God isn’t going to heal him the way I would imagine him to. The Lord prepared me for today.
First, the Lord reminded me of the time when I was a caregiver to my brother who suffered Bipolar. There was a period of time when I felt very burdened and stressed. I prayed for the Lord to deliver me out of the situation, daily. More often than not, I would cry to bed and literally asked Jesus to ‘save me’, but the Lord did not. During one Sunday service, I saw in a vision that I was drowning and while bobbing up and down in the gushing rivers, I cried out to the Lord, ‘Save me and get me out of this!!” The Lord was silent in the vision but what I saw there after brought me great comfort. His hand stretched down from heaven and held on to mine as I struggled in the river with ferocious waters splapping me in every directions. Even though the Lord did not pull me out of it, He journeyed with me. His word for me then, was He will be with me!
My heart was even more ladened (though at peace), when my sis shared with me the bible story of Daniel’s friends being placed in the furnace. They were not delivered from the situation but neither were they being delivered into the hands of the situation. We all knew they came out of the furnace, unharmed. I believe this incidental sharing of the story was God’s intentional reminder that He will be with us! Indeed.
Second, one of my church pastor shared his journey as a cancer patient on the FB just the night before KR’s pre-admission to the hospital. There were several pointers that he shared. 2 really helped me in my understanding of why things went the way they were and 1 pointer reassured me of what He had spoken to me before.
Pointer 1. “Healing comes in many forms and we should not box God in just one that we are familiar or is convenient.”
Pointer 2. “We must always measure up our experience to the Word of God and not the other way round.”
Pointer 3. “In the end, God will turn all that we are going through for the good because He is always our good Father.”
When I first found out that KR has cleft, Genesis 20:50 was the anchor verse that I will claim and pray over him, often. God’s intention for him is always good, in time to come, the situation will be turned around and many will be saved. Though, humanly I can’t understand now, I cling on to what I know of Him to see me through each painful phase.
God? He is a good God and He loves us deeply.
Third, over Sunday’s service, our senior pastor preached about being a Faith Possessor; speaking to our mountains in life to move and to believe that it will happen. Throughout the past 6 months, there are many recurring reminders through different people and via various platforms that God will bring about the good in KR’s life. Now the challenge is to truly believe that God will turn it around for him. Because for all things, God work for the good of those who loves Him. This phase is transient.
The song, You are Faithful ministered to me a great deal this week. Indeed, our God cares for us and He will carry us through.
Faithful God and my sovereign King, in YOU, I place my trust.
The life of my Son and the destiny He has in you. Amen.