It was one intense weekend as I interceded with a group of mummies for my friend’s baby who was struggling to breathe in ICU. Hopes dashed and devastation crept in as soon as I heard that doctors were giving up resuscitating the baby.
On Sunday, baby G left us to be home with the Lord. I was disappointed. Very disappointed with God. I felt that God could do something but did not do anything. It was a revisit to the tales of disappointed hopes I had with God when I prayed about healing for all KR’s medical conditions at birth. KR could not escape the slits and stitches as much as I wanted him to. The Cleft lips and palates and Imperforate anus til today are not healed. Once, after visited KR in the ICU (after his colostomy operation), I remembered bawling in the car and shouting at God if He were blind and deaf. “…could you not see, Lord? Could you not hear?!” Which mother could bear to watch her child in pain and still keeps her sanity? I admit, I lose it at moments, sometimes.
The message on Sunday was about El Roi (Hebrew word), the God who sees. In Genesis 16, the scripture talks about Hagar, the maid servant of Sarai, running away from the abuse and mistreatment she was suffering in the family. Pregnant with Ishmael, she ran for her life.
She [Hagar] gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi [the”well of the Living One who sees me”]. (Genesis 16:13-14)
Verse 7 said that ‘the angel of the Lord found her’. God’s eyes were definitely on her. God saw everything, He knew.
God saw the pain I was going through and so did He, for my friend, who lost her baby. He is El Roi, the God who sees. In that, I take comfort. Lord, you are faithful.
You still be faithful by Bob Fitts
A psalm of David.
1 Ascribe to the Lord, you heavenly beings,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.
2 Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
worship the Lord in the splendor of his[a] holiness.
3 The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the Lord thunders over the mighty waters.
4 The voice of the Lord is powerful;
the voice of the Lord is majestic.
5 The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars;
the Lord breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon.
6 He makes Lebanon leap like a calf,
Sirion[b] like a young wild ox.
7 The voice of the Lord strikes
with flashes of lightning.
8 The voice of the Lord shakes the desert;
the Lord shakes the Desert of Kadesh.
9 The voice of the Lord twists the oaks[c]
and strips the forests bare.
And in his temple all cry, “Glory!”
10 The Lord sits enthroned over the flood;
the Lord is enthroned as King forever.
11 The Lord gives strength to his people;
the Lord blesses his people with peace.
Good bye and I will see you soon, Baby G…