As I type this post, we are just 6 hours to the Lip repair surgery. It has been so emotional for me the past week. I tried very hard to hold back my tears each time I think about admitting him but the tears just fall. They just fall.
I know we have the best facilities, best team of Doctors, and the op is going to be a great success, but 我的心还是酸酸的。心很痛。 when friends asked about how I am, I would tell them I can’t even describe the 心痛; the emotional pain is beyond words. The same heartache which I had when he went through the colostomy on Day 2 of birth, revisited me.
“God, if you are willing, let this pass from my son…” I would intercede and pray for KR, just like Jesus did, the night before he was cruxified. I love KR even with the cleft, he is already beautiful, perfect in my eyes and cuteness to the max. But I know, the surgery is a need to get him to speak, swallow, eat better… I had no choice, he needs to go for this.
This season, I feel the heart of God… how 心痛， he must have been to send Jesus to die on the cross, how emotional it could get to commune with him the night when Jesus made that request. The reluctance He must have had to let his only Son, take the cross for mankind and be that sacrificial lamb.
The song ‘Worthy is the Lamb‘, kept coming to my mind. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for me.