And so this went on for a good 45minutes as I unsuccessfully tried to put KR’s NGTube back in place yesterday morning.

For the past 4months, I have never failed. But WHY today? Why at the crunch hour of 6:30am when I have to pump milk, settle his morning meds, milk feed, wake KX up and get her ready for school?

And yes… after much contemplations, I drove down to KKH for beloved Aunty C to help him with the NGTube. Under the professional hand of Aunty C, there is no need for NGs! (Psst. Aunty C, if you are reading this, another big thank you!)

Then of course KR is much calmer after a good nap from home to KKH and his muscles are not as tense for the insertion. After the experience, I know what I should have done the next time. Give him some time to really sleep off the crankiness before I do the insertion for him again. Worse off? Do a drive. Now I know how stories of parents driving babies round and round, at night, just to get them to sleep is possible.

And so… what’s the take home point? The reminder was “…lean on Him.”

I remembered when I first brought KR home from KKH, I prayed over him for almost everything. When I tube fed  him, I always prayed that I could successfully aspirate some gastric juice for the PH paper to test the placement of the tube. I stopped when I became competent with it and also confident that tube was in place, with the help of the stethoscope, of course.

I also prayed whenever I need to change his colostomy bag each time cos I was so afraid that it will leak, I would have to redo all the steps over again and this poor boy’s skin might just tear from the repeated pasting and removal of the colostomy bag. In the earlier months, there was once when I had to do it 4 times cos I was so nervous after the first time it leaked and thereafter, I did not know the best way to troubleshoot after each replacement. The poor boy cried so hard and of course, me too…that episode was resolved after the Lord sent a friend who was an ex-nurse, to help me paste on the 4th bag successfully. From her, I learned to fan dry the area (for pasting) well and also to reinforce well with micropore tape after placing the bag on. Staying at home gave me the advantage to “catch the moment” to change the bag for KR. And that would be always 7:30am after he wakes. With the regular practice, it now takes me less than 15mins to put the bag on and yes I also stopped praying since the confidence has built up.

KR’s tape for his cleft lip was another which I prayed every time when I put on the tape for him. In the first month, the tape will easily be licked off the moment I put it on. And I would be super stressed out thinking about how to keep it on so that it would help to bring the cleft a little closer for the surgery. Later, I learned from a mother in the Cleft Angels support group that I could cut it in a certain way to keep the tape on. And Yes! I did it… the tape can now stay on for one whole day or even 2 if I decide not to change it daily.

Today’s ‘NGs’, like in filming, made me go back to the original drawing board. I do not like to reflect on why things go wrong but I like to reflect on what can I learn when things go wrong. For this experience would be, Pray, and pray unceasingly (1 Thess 5:17) 

Its not that when we pray, everything will go on smoothly, results always positive and we will never fall ill nor be sad. But when we Pray, its the Process and Posture that give us that indefinite Peace to go through life.




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